So I've decided that in January I'm going on a social media detox... unless Trump gets impeached or Jared is indicted (I did say that all I wanted for Christmas was Kushner in an orange jumpsuit...).

I will however be keeping this up.

But Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram... all being purged from my phone at midnight.

Wish me luck!

Every day that I cat-sit, I am reminded of a poem that one of my drama school classmates (a very sweet, gentle boy named Andrew) performed with total, unexpected ferocity in our voice class. It sums up my feelings towards felines perfectly.

I am a dog person. That is now proven.

It is physically impossible for me to go anywhere near a Bunnings sausage sizzle without partaking. PHYSICALLY. IMPOSSIBLE.

Didn't even get out of my pyjamas until nearly 6pm. Staycation FTW.

Well that was tedious. Three hours sitting in an optometrist with my mother while they give her every eye test under the sun and then declare she has cataracts and needs surgery. I mean, COME. THE. FUCK. ON. universe.

I have literally done nothing all day except what I wanted to do, which was VERY LITTLE (apart from finish watching Season 2 of The Crown, eat all the leftovers and take a nap).

Well it wasn't great (until 8pm when I got to my mates' place for alcohol and commiserating) but it was better than last year, so I guess the Howard Jones/Yazz principles worked.

Chillest Christmas Eve day I've had in years... brunch with a mate, dropped car off for washing - was ready in under 90 mins, got straight in for a fab massage - without booking, no queues at the grocery store, prepped all the food for tomorrow's picnic and am about to sit down with a glass of wine and watch Die Hard.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Really don't think I'm ever going to be a cat person, but the kitties and I are getting on pretty well.

Rizzo is hiding behind the TV and Jackson is stretched out on the sofa like he owns the damn joint, while we watch The Crown. So far they've been wary AF and I'm ok with that. I can relate. #catsitting

Right. The filing is DONE. The study is tidy. I feel in control again. Christmas shopping (bar groceries) is finished and I had a lovely lunch at my favourite crepe place with one of my favourite friends.

I also crossed from Elizabeth St to Flinders St Station at 2.30pm, not 2 hours prior to a madman driving his SUV down Flinders St, ploughing into pedestrians. Someone up there is looking out for me. The number of times I've been in a place right before something happens is spooky.

Last day at work for the year - there's probably a bunch of things that I should've finished before I left but my motivation was non-existent. Also, I've agreed to cat-sit for my boss while she's away. I'm not a cat person. This could be interesting.

Team Christmas Breakfast this morning... there we were thinking our manager was going to expense the bill but no, we had to pony up for it ourselves.

Oh well. I got a fab Kris Kringle gift - a book from an author I've never heard of but think I'm really going to enjoy.

Surprisingly, Chadstone wasn't at all busy when I went to finish my Christmas shopping after work tonight.

Unsurprisingly, I spent a goddamned fortune.

Fortuitously, I made it home before the epic thunderstorm that turned my driveway into the Zambezi.

Lovely early Christmas celebration with my 'Clayton's' cousins... it's the closest I'll get to a family celebration this year.

Did a load of laundry, put on a second, hung out the first, put the garbage out, STUPID DAMN SCREEN DOOR WOULDN'T UNLOCK TO LET ME BACK IN THE HOUSE.

Thank god for my neighbour Matt and Dylan the locksmith who saved the day.

Still feeling ALL THE FEELS after The Last Jedi.

So many strong, complex, funny, quirky, awesome women.

SO. MANY.

And don't even get me started on my Princess/General and how this was her last ever movie. ALL. THE. TEARS.

I've been so slack at doing my online classes of late.

SO.

SLACK.

If I pass this subject it'll only be because I can bullshit about stuff like a champ.

I don't care that people think it's weird I'm excited by the spray balsamic my lovely boss brought me back from Tuscany. I really don't. Spray balsamic is the fucking SHIZ.

Look, it's not ideal two weeks out from Christmas, but I'm just thankful it only cost me $400 to replace my busted iPhone. I had envisaged having to fork out at least $1K for a new one.

I suppose if you're going to drop your iPhone, then the best place to realise the screen is fucked and it's probably cactus is when you're in the car park outside the Apple Store.

Babysat young Evie whilst her talented mama de-installed her amazing grad exhibition. We drooled, we walked, we rocked and she threw ALL THE BABY SHADE every time I tried to snap a picture.

3.5 hours driving
0.5 hours at the post office filling in bloody mail re-direction forms
6 hours unpacking and organising LB's room whilst she moaned about how much life sucks

TEN HOURS I'M NOT EVER GETTING BACK


(Yes, I am a bad daughter but after more than 18 months of this shit, I have no fucks left to give)

I'd known I'd have to walk around the office today looking like a freak with a band-aid on my nose I might not have scheduled the skin cancer clinic appointment for last night.

Being up half the night with food poisoning and then having to work all day isn't actually an ideal way to spend the day...

Finally met my (honorary) great-nephew tonight.

HE.

IS.

ADORBS.

Not that I'm biased or anything.

Got a serious case of the bah humbugs that doesn't seem to be shifting... even though today I had my first Starbucks Gingerbread Latte of the season...

Ended up taking the day off to finish the essay.

Ducked out to the opening of a mate's exhibition around 6pm, but still managed to get the essay in an hour before the deadline.

Maybe I'm not as hopeless as I think.

These are really the two most relevant gifs in my life right now.

#allday
#erryday
#aintevenreligioustho

Right, so I've now re-read the entire novel and made notes specific to the assignment on it... think I might call it a night and get cracking on the actual essay tomorrow.

The date was bugging me all day until just now when I realised it's the birthday of my former Bestie and mother of my (I guess former?) godchildren, who I've still not heard from since she suddenly stopped talking to me over 6 years ago. Whatever she's doing, I hope she's well and happy.

10.30pm already and I've done fuck all study or other work I intended to do tonight. Ugh.

Also, can this cool change/epic thunderstorm just come already?! I'm schvitzing.

Managed to make it home just in time for the last half of my online class... I really am putting in the bare minimum with this unit. Not good.

Pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to put some of the techniques outlined in Lifehack Bootcamp's F.A.S.T. program into effect.

I managed to actually get some shit done today for a change.

I can't be the only person in the world who gets abnormally excited when their diary for the next year finally arrives in the post, can I?!

Almost 11pm and I've STILL not done a scrap of study today.

ALL THE FACE PALM EMOJIS.

Another VERY long day up in Ballarat. Can I crawl into a hole now and stay there until after Christmas please?

Fully expected that I would need to consign my old telly to the next council clean up... on a whim put it up on Gumtree and scored $150 for it tonight. 

That covers last night's Gap shopping spree (and then some).

Another crazy busy work day, followed by a detour home via Gap and their closing down 50%-70% off sale.

Two more dresses purchased. 

🤷🏻‍♀️

Well this has been a crazy ass day from hell. Didn't leave work until almost 8pm and even then I could've easily stayed for another hour or three.

Now, do I have the energy to do some studying or should I just call it a wash and go to bed?

Something that's been bothering me for a while... no one says thank you anymore. Like, really. It's that fucking difficult to send a text or email or pick up a phone when someone does something nice for you? Like I know that's not the point of doing something nice for someone but still, sometimes I wonder why I even fucking bother.

Really need to get my shit together. So much time wasting going on right now because everything is so overwhelming...

So I managed to do laundry today.

That's an achievement.

House is still a disaster. All of LB's paperwork is still piled up in the study waiting to be sorted. All my readings for uni are sitting on the desk waiting to be read. LB's still in hospital and may have to have major surgery tomorrow.

But hey, I got to be up the front at the Take That concert on Friday so life is still pretty fucking awesome.

So of course the morning after one of the greatest concerts of my life, I am brought crashing back to earth by the news that LB has been rushed back to hospital.

BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S HOW LIFE WORKS IN 2017.

So, ummmm... Britney's sister-in-law was sitting down the front at Take That in Sydney. The two seats next to her were empty, so she came and moved Sarah and I down to sit with her.

Row C. Dead centre. Closest I've ever been at a concert (that I wasn't working at).

Needless to say, I well and truly lost my mind.

I am forever in her debt.

I really didn't need a new pair of shoes, but I really did. Oh well. It's only money, right?

Probably some of the shittiest seats I've ever had a concert (that I paid for), but Take That are awesome from any angle.

Plus I get to go again on Friday night - WINNING!

Super excited for tomorrow when I see Take That (for the second time ever, but the first time on Australian soil and the first time this week because I'm going again in Sydney on Friday because a mate bought me a ticket to see it with her and also why the hell not).

Some days you wake up only to discover that what you really need to do instead of putting on a brave face and going to work is stay home, sleep a bit longer and then desperately try and get your shit together so you don't feel like a complete failure in the life/good daughter stakes.

Unit emptied and cleaned. ✔
LB's stuff moved to her new place. ✔
Things unpacked at my house ...

Ummmmm... my house *may* look like a disaster zone for a while yet. Busy week ahead.

Thank whatever-higher-power (because I don't believe in god) is out there for my LB's cousins/my godparents (yeah, I know that makes no sense).

They have been absolute champions in helping with LB over the last 18 months. If it weren't for them I would be curled up in a fetal position on the floor sucking my thumb.

Parenting an elderly, mentally ill parent is a fucking nightmare and anyone who says otherwise is delusional.

Oh of COURSE I get insomnia. When we have a huge day of packing up LB's unit and moving stuff to my house and moving her into full-time care and I need all the rest I can get.

Brilliant. Thanks, overtaxed brain.

Refer yesterday's post...

It's GOT to get better at some point, right?

Me. All day, every day..

Bet $27.

Won $31.

Came out $4 in front. Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish.

Honestly, some days I reckon I'll go before her, with the amount of stress she's causing me.

Parenting your parent is the absolute WORST and hats off to anyone who has the misfortune of being in this situation.

Binge-watching Stranger Things... Matthew Modine is CREEPY AF.

Finally watching Stranger Things.

OMG.

WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG?!?!

An unexpected visit from the SFAM and dinner with the GBF has readied me for the stress of tomorrow.

Hijacked from working tonight with phone calls from mates... but that's ok because it's nice to catch up with them all.

Another late night... but at least it was doing something productive for a bit of extra cash... which will pay for the new living room rug.

October writing challenge for 750words.com completed.

Biting off more than I can chew, AGAIN.

When will I learn?!

10pm and I've STILL not done any study.

Hopeless.

Have not left the house all day - not even to put the rubbish out. Shocking.

Still. Got a little bit of reading done. And suffered through several long phone conversations with LB, who is going backwards at a rate of knots.

Bloody funny film this one... not nearly enough Jason Isaacs, who stole the show, but still. Bloody funny.

Exhausted after yet another round-trip to Ballarat. At least I got a few things sorted. My shoulder though... ugh.  All I want to do is sleep for the next month.

So nice to be back doing a subject that has a weekly 'virtual classroom'. It's a little hour out of each week where I feel like I'm actually using my brain...

I hate Centrelink.

I hate bureaucracy.

I hate having to be the one that has to deal with all this shit.

I think I must sound waaaaay more stressed than I feel because everyone today keeps asking me if I'm ok. 

Which I am. I mean, I would rather not have to deal with parenting my parent and just go and sit on a beach reading books for a month, but I'm fine.

Really.

So many things I was supposed to do today but honestly, IDGAF. All I want to do is be a hermit.

ANOTHER fall... this time it's a broken arm.

Honest to god, my mother is doing her goddamned best to shorten MY life expectancy via stress.

One of my co-workers started cleaning her desk... before you know it, we were ALL cleaning. Then I discovered the Dymo labeling machine.

OCD much?

HDs for BOTH my subjects, and a score of 91% for the essay where I manage to equate politics in Hollywood using Hunger Games as a reference point to the evil of the current Trump administration. Who'd've thought comparing Donald Sutherland's character to Mike Pence would score so highly?!

Me all this week... and it's only Wednesday.

Well. And. Truly. Over. It. Today.

Just scraped in an HD for my overall mark for Fantasy Literature.

What an awesome way to spend my Sunday afternoon/evening. Even got to meet and take a selfie with one of my favourite writers!

When you're volunteering at your ma's retirement village open day and there's a BBQ going just across from where you're standing, it's totally acceptable to eat ALL the sausages, right?!?

Finally got the 'no pet clause' lifted from my lease agreement (the least they could bloody do seeing as they're upping my rent AGAIN).

Now the question is do I just foster for a bit or do I go the whole hog and get me a Westie?

My new workplace does good functions, that's for sure. 

#allthecanapes #allthewine #allthefreebies

I really do love my new workplace. Never would've thought I'd have the opportunity to listen to, ask questions of, and then engage in a one-on-one discussion on the current state of politics in America with the man who headed up Obama's 2008 and 2012 campaigns in Nevada.

My Hickies arrived today.

I really am a total geek, aren't I???*






* That question is rhetorical. I am well aware of how geeky I am thank you very much.

Me every damn time I have to speak to my mother nowadays...

Most beautiful show I've seen in a long time.

Up at sparrows, did two loads of laundry, took breakfast over to the G-K's and met their adorable three-week-old, dropped the car off to get cleaned, WENT TO THE GYM*, picked up the car, bought some chiyogami paper, came home, painted two chests of drawers whilst listening to HRC's audiobook, wrote my 750 words, read a huge chunk of a novel I need to read for next trimester, called my mother, hoovered the house, about to be in bed by 10.30pm.

I don't even recognise myself.




* This is the bit I find most shocking.

Random burst of energy this evening has had me starting the painting job I was planning to get started on tomorrow.

I'm contemplating going to the gym with the spare time this will create tomorrow.

WHO AM I AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH MYSELF?!?

It's not to early to go to bed, is it?

Like, I'm not a lame old lady by putting my pajamas on the second I walk in the door, am I?



THE ANSWER TO BOTH OF THESE QUESTIONS IS 'YES' BUT I REALLY DON'T GIVE A RAT'S. 

Got my gym program done tonight. She's got me doing weights with the bros upstairs who like to lounge around on the machines looking tough.

NOT ON MY WATCH, BROS. If I see you sitting there on that machine talking on your phone between reps, you'd best watch me kick your ass outta there. This bitch is on a SCHEDULE.

Farewell Tom Petty, staple of my teen years and oft-revisited throughout my adulthood.

My uncle just told me I have 'the patience of Job' when it comes to dealing with my mother's antics.

I beg to differ.

SHE. IS. DRIVING. ME. BONKERS.

Yes, I am a terrible daughter. This is also why I am not a mother.

Slept in, got some work done whilst listening to Hillary's audiobook, then trawled the house for things to chuck out for the bi-annual hard rubbish collection. Just a lazy Sunday.

Barely slept last night and Daylight Saving starts tonight. Grrrr for losing sleep, but yay for no longer driving home from work in the dark!

One day, I might actually be able to visit Ballarat and not feel exhausted, frustrated and cranky AF.

Today is not that day.

Letters from old friends are the best.

Hitting the gym at 7.30am for an "assessment". 

Not only am I a good 15kgs heavier than I was this time last year (thank you family stress, middle age and juggling work and study) but my strength and flexibility are rubbish. 

Time for an overhaul.

Damn, but I have some talented friends.

I have my life back. Sorta. For a few weeks anyway. Time to start watching The Handmaid's Tale and freak myself out at the state of the world.



(I couldn't watch it before as it was one of the novels I was studying for uni and I didn't want to taint my reading of the book)

When you think you've got 5 minutes to submit but then realise you've LEFT OFF THE KEY FUCKING SOURCE FROM YOUR WORKS CITED LIST AND HAVE TO GO BACK TO FIX IT... 

Really not feeling the inspiration for this essay right now... but thanks to a sunny, 29C day I have all my laundry done! Yay for clean sheets!

English essay submitted at 7.30am this morning. Should now be smashing out the next one but have zero motivation to do so...

Also, I'm apparently the name oracle... was a great privilege being asked to adjudicate on the potential names for KJG's new daughter!

Determined to smash the rest of this essay out tonight and GET. IT. DONE.

Then it's on to number two over the weekend and as of Monday, my life is my own again. For a few weeks at least.

It's past 10.30pm and I've done fuck all study. At this rate I'm going to have to cancel my Friday night plans.

Why do I always leave shit to the last minute?!?

Exhausted and it's only 8.30pm (and I still have two assignments to write).

I really don't have time to be tired.

So I'm super stoked that Kate McKinnon won another Emmy and was teary when she thanked HRC, but I am SUPER PISSED that Sean Spicer presented and was treated like a king. The man openly lied on behalf of cheeto don for MONTHS and he's suddenly the most popular guy in the room?

Slow going on the studying front today. I think if I had to describe how this week will turn out...

Late night Fringe shows where you catch up with a bunch of ex-students and colleagues that you haven't seen in forever are the best.

So full of Greek food and wine... the upsides of having out of town guest insist on Hellenic Republic dinner dates. 

The downside is my waistline has expanded even further. 

Today is R U OK? Day, so we had a yellow themed afternoon tea at the office. Yellow food. Crisps, tortilla chips, yellow dip, cheese, lolly bananas, yellow cupcakes, yellow lamingtons, honey joys, yellow donuts.

Honestly, this new job is one constant eating-fest.


😋

Finally got my first pay for the new job today. Actually being paid decent money for a change = debts will shrink faster than I thought was attainable = weight off my shoulders.

Happy release day, Hillary!

Too busy to actually read the hardback for a couple of weeks, but thankfully since I now drive to work, I can listen to her read it to me on my daily commute.

#StillWithHer

For someone who could barely drag herself out of bed this morning, I sure did have a truckload of energy when I got home... although for hoovering and mopping, not studying.

Sigh.

Anytime this cough wants to disappear is fine with me. I have a hugely busy week ahead.

Have not left the house all day. 

WTF.

(I have actually watched a couple of lectures and done all the laundry, so there's that at least)

So this afternoon in a meeting I was at the tickle-in-the-throat-that-makes-you-cough-so-hard-you-throw-up stage and tonight at dinner I was at the pass-me-all-the-napkins-so-I-can-blow-five-gallons-of-snot-out-my-nose stage.

A jug of water and three lozenges did nothing to help the meeting problem, and two extra strong margaritas, spicy wings and quesadillas did nothing to help the dinner problem.

THERE IS NO FIX. AM DOOMED TO BE ILL FOREVER.*


*Shut up, I'm also at the 'when will this all end' stage.

I'm all outta DayQuil AND NyQuil.

They don't sell it in Australia, no will Walgreens et al ship it to me.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET RID OF THIS COLD?

Still sick.

Still went to work.

On the upside, I started doing Lite'n'Easy this week so I don't even have to contemplate cooking... just have to shove a box in the microwave.

You say lazy, I say efficient.

Was thisclose to taking a sick day today and probably should have but it's only my second week in the job so by the grace of a truckload of DayQuil and some VERY strong black coffee, I managed to struggle through.

What's the bet I collapse into bed at 9pm and then wake up at 3am bright as a button?

Just give me ALL the cold and flu medication you have. Now.

I have no time for this throat infection that seems to have reared its ugly head.

NO. TIME.

Saying sayonara to one of my Melbs crew who, after four years has decided to head home to Sydney...