So I've decided that in January I'm going on a social media detox... unless Trump gets impeached or Jared is indicted (I did say that all I wanted for Christmas was Kushner in an orange jumpsuit...).

I will however be keeping this up.

But Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram... all being purged from my phone at midnight.

Wish me luck!

Every day that I cat-sit, I am reminded of a poem that one of my drama school classmates (a very sweet, gentle boy named Andrew) performed with total, unexpected ferocity in our voice class. It sums up my feelings towards felines perfectly.

I am a dog person. That is now proven.

It is physically impossible for me to go anywhere near a Bunnings sausage sizzle without partaking. PHYSICALLY. IMPOSSIBLE.

Didn't even get out of my pyjamas until nearly 6pm. Staycation FTW.

Well that was tedious. Three hours sitting in an optometrist with my mother while they give her every eye test under the sun and then declare she has cataracts and needs surgery. I mean, COME. THE. FUCK. ON. universe.

I have literally done nothing all day except what I wanted to do, which was VERY LITTLE (apart from finish watching Season 2 of The Crown, eat all the leftovers and take a nap).

Well it wasn't great (until 8pm when I got to my mates' place for alcohol and commiserating) but it was better than last year, so I guess the Howard Jones/Yazz principles worked.

Chillest Christmas Eve day I've had in years... brunch with a mate, dropped car off for washing - was ready in under 90 mins, got straight in for a fab massage - without booking, no queues at the grocery store, prepped all the food for tomorrow's picnic and am about to sit down with a glass of wine and watch Die Hard.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Really don't think I'm ever going to be a cat person, but the kitties and I are getting on pretty well.

Rizzo is hiding behind the TV and Jackson is stretched out on the sofa like he owns the damn joint, while we watch The Crown. So far they've been wary AF and I'm ok with that. I can relate. #catsitting

Right. The filing is DONE. The study is tidy. I feel in control again. Christmas shopping (bar groceries) is finished and I had a lovely lunch at my favourite crepe place with one of my favourite friends.

I also crossed from Elizabeth St to Flinders St Station at 2.30pm, not 2 hours prior to a madman driving his SUV down Flinders St, ploughing into pedestrians. Someone up there is looking out for me. The number of times I've been in a place right before something happens is spooky.

Last day at work for the year - there's probably a bunch of things that I should've finished before I left but my motivation was non-existent. Also, I've agreed to cat-sit for my boss while she's away. I'm not a cat person. This could be interesting.

Team Christmas Breakfast this morning... there we were thinking our manager was going to expense the bill but no, we had to pony up for it ourselves.

Oh well. I got a fab Kris Kringle gift - a book from an author I've never heard of but think I'm really going to enjoy.

Surprisingly, Chadstone wasn't at all busy when I went to finish my Christmas shopping after work tonight.

Unsurprisingly, I spent a goddamned fortune.

Fortuitously, I made it home before the epic thunderstorm that turned my driveway into the Zambezi.

Lovely early Christmas celebration with my 'Clayton's' cousins... it's the closest I'll get to a family celebration this year.

Did a load of laundry, put on a second, hung out the first, put the garbage out, STUPID DAMN SCREEN DOOR WOULDN'T UNLOCK TO LET ME BACK IN THE HOUSE.

Thank god for my neighbour Matt and Dylan the locksmith who saved the day.

Still feeling ALL THE FEELS after The Last Jedi.

So many strong, complex, funny, quirky, awesome women.

SO. MANY.

And don't even get me started on my Princess/General and how this was her last ever movie. ALL. THE. TEARS.

I've been so slack at doing my online classes of late.

SO.

SLACK.

If I pass this subject it'll only be because I can bullshit about stuff like a champ.

I don't care that people think it's weird I'm excited by the spray balsamic my lovely boss brought me back from Tuscany. I really don't. Spray balsamic is the fucking SHIZ.

Look, it's not ideal two weeks out from Christmas, but I'm just thankful it only cost me $400 to replace my busted iPhone. I had envisaged having to fork out at least $1K for a new one.

I suppose if you're going to drop your iPhone, then the best place to realise the screen is fucked and it's probably cactus is when you're in the car park outside the Apple Store.

Babysat young Evie whilst her talented mama de-installed her amazing grad exhibition. We drooled, we walked, we rocked and she threw ALL THE BABY SHADE every time I tried to snap a picture.

3.5 hours driving
0.5 hours at the post office filling in bloody mail re-direction forms
6 hours unpacking and organising LB's room whilst she moaned about how much life sucks

TEN HOURS I'M NOT EVER GETTING BACK


(Yes, I am a bad daughter but after more than 18 months of this shit, I have no fucks left to give)

I'd known I'd have to walk around the office today looking like a freak with a band-aid on my nose I might not have scheduled the skin cancer clinic appointment for last night.

Being up half the night with food poisoning and then having to work all day isn't actually an ideal way to spend the day...

Finally met my (honorary) great-nephew tonight.

HE.

IS.

ADORBS.

Not that I'm biased or anything.

Got a serious case of the bah humbugs that doesn't seem to be shifting... even though today I had my first Starbucks Gingerbread Latte of the season...

Ended up taking the day off to finish the essay.

Ducked out to the opening of a mate's exhibition around 6pm, but still managed to get the essay in an hour before the deadline.

Maybe I'm not as hopeless as I think.

These are really the two most relevant gifs in my life right now.

#allday
#erryday
#aintevenreligioustho

Right, so I've now re-read the entire novel and made notes specific to the assignment on it... think I might call it a night and get cracking on the actual essay tomorrow.

The date was bugging me all day until just now when I realised it's the birthday of my former Bestie and mother of my (I guess former?) godchildren, who I've still not heard from since she suddenly stopped talking to me over 6 years ago. Whatever she's doing, I hope she's well and happy.