Everyone keeps saying 2014's been a shite year, but I've had one of the best years I've had in a long time, so I just shrug my shoulders. I mean, look how I spent today...

Is that perfection, or what?!

Finally a chance to relax... with a new friend.

Sammy. The cuddliest, dopiest, sweetest, craziest fluffball I've ever met. If only I could take him home!

More visiting with people... you can tell the Mater's in town. I'm visiting with people I don't even know!

Knackered after driving here there and everywhere for the last two days. Visiting family over the holidays is taxing...

My Auntie Maysie is the coolest 94 year old I know.

(Of course, she's the only 94 year old I know... 😉)

Old-school motels are hilariously awesome... reminds me of childhood vacations.

Sleep in, lovely lunch at a hotel (so no cooking and no washing up), afternoon nap and a bit of BBC evening entertainment. Cracking Christmas Day.

Listening to LB's commentary on Carols by Candlelight is becoming a bit of a Christmas tradition.

No more VCA until 5th Jan. Hurrah! Looking forward to making some progress on the big stack of books sitting on the coffee table...

Only I would agree to having my bathroom repainted three days before Christmas, when my mother is due to arrive tomorrow.

She's going to bang on about the smell the entire two weeks she's here.



Sigh.




Oh well. At least it'll look nice!

Flood icing is a pain in the arse.

I mean, the gingerbread cookies I made look pretty good, but MY GOD WHAT A SHAG IT WAS TO ICE THEM. TOOK ALL FREAKING NIGHT.

Not doing that again.

House cleaned ready for LB's arrival, one book (of my pile of eight!) finished and Christmas gingerbread cookies made, ready for my first attempt at 'flood' icing tomorrow. Productive day.

Thought Mailchimp was making weird sound effects while I was editing a client's newsletter. 

Turns out it was a nest of baby birds outside my window.

Monkeys. Birds, I'm a city girl. Who can tell the difference?

One of my acupuncturist's other clients recommended she hang out in Earl's Court when she moves to London at the end of the month.

I set her straight toot sweet.

Jeez. What kind of traveller wants to spend their year in another country only socialising with their compatriots? Totally defeats the purpose of travelling.

Best Christmas gift from my amazing UK friends and colleagues... can't wait to book it in for January!

A wonderful night bonding with my theatre department colleagues. And my first experience of 'hotpot' dining. I think one of my colleagues summed it up perfectly when he exclaimed: "What; I'm paying someone else so that I can cook my own food? That can't be right!". Bless.

I will miss Sloan Sabbith and her zingers.

Farewell, The Newsroom. Sorkin, don't be a stranger. 

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.
I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

I will get this bloody acquittal finished.

(repeating it over and over might just make it happen... I hope)

The world is going off the reservation and back to crazy town.

Three couples this week telling me they've split.

WTAF?!?

Goodbye crappy, [15 year] old, insanely uncomfortable, keeps-me-awake-at-night mattress...

Hello brand new, pillow-top, ultra-comfortable mattress.

In the words of Bridget Jones... I'm off to Bedfordshire.

Frustrating day at work.

SUPER frustrating.

Oh well. Apply the Yazz and Howard Jones principles and move on.

Me after the mid-season finale of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D...

Also, in honour of the mid-season finale (and because I had a friend come over for dinner and finale watching), I made this giant cookie for dessert:

Yeah, I'm a nerd.

Nothing says 'Christmas' like a tree made of twigs, lights and electrical tape.

Ho ho ho.

I love Aaron Sorkin.

That is all.







Actually, no. That's not all. I feel compelled to add: NOOOOOOOOO! NOT CHARLIE!!!!!

There's something quite unnerving about holding an open urn full of someone's ashes before they're poured into the ground, especially when it's over four years since they've died.

Knocked over a few Christmas gifts today at the market where my delightful cousin was selling her delicious chocolate wares.

Now I just need to sort out a few more.

And a tree. I need a tree.

Today has been a day of fits and starts. I feel very unproductive.

All that remains of tonight's belated Thanksgiving dinner...

Except the turkey carcass. But that's a bit too gross-looking to photograph.

All caught up on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Still working my way through Madam Secretary, Scandal, Mom, The Mindy Project and The Mysteries of Laura. Lord only knows when I'll have time for them.

SO.

BUSY.

To most people, a big fancy dinner with a bunch of occupational hygienists would be tedious, but when you've spent the last three weeks with a bunch of overly-dramatic, artsy types, it's quite fun to observe how regular people operate.

Some of them could definitely do with a Trinny & Susannah or Queer Eye-style makeover, however.

Negotiated to work from home for the rest of the week. Phew. I'm knackered.

At what age do you stop playing fun games after dinner? Tonight I was reminded again just how much fun it is to play parlour games whilst honing my skills in a variant of 'Mafia'.


NB - I am a terrible liar under pressure.

Benalla, I expected you to have at least a sausage sizzle at your polling booth, even if you didn't have the 'I Voted' stickers.

Disappointed. I feel it's my constitutional right to have a sausage sizzle whilst putting the evil Liberal party last on my ballot paper.

"Op Shop Bingo" was the theme and the students took it to the extreme.

Also, Articulate. How is it I've never played this before? It's awesome fun!

Met a troubled kid today who lit up when she met our theatre grads... it was like she'd finally found her 'people'. Made my heart happy.

Well Benalla, you're winning on the accommodation stakes. This bed is: (a) huge; and (b) super comfy.

Kicking goals left, right and centre today... need some decent sleep tonight though - another big week on the road begins tomorrow!

Feeling drained post-Natimuk. Need sleep.

When Friday night's dream/nightmare edges into Sunday's reality.

Yoiks.

Wow. What an amazing response to our shows from the locals in Natimuk. So many 'SOLD OUT' stickers being put up on the show board!

Sunset. The Verj, Natimuk. 

So impressed with the professionalism and enthusiasm displayed by my third years today. We are rockin' it in Natimuk!!!

Well that was a long day's travel and bump-in. Time for bed in my 'just-like-granny's-spare-single-room' accommodation.

I think an early night is in order... two weeks of tour managing a group of twenty-five, twenty-something actors to regional Victoria begins tomorrow!

Vale, (Bestie Ems') Uncle George. One of the nicest, funniest, most interesting gentlemen I ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Sometimes, you've got to a have a big one to remind yourself that it's not all it's cracked up to be. HashtagHungoverAsHell.

My tribe is full of nutty, whacky, wonderful people and I love each and every one of them.

I don't know what I'm more freaked out by... the plot twists in tonight's Scandal, or my 75yo mother texting me her first ever selfie. 

Lovely catch up with the two Belfast travellers at lunch today - they had some fun stories!

Apparently tomorrow's going to be a scorcher... wonder if I can work from home the WHOLE day?!*




* And by working from home I mean sitting on my balcony in a deck chair. I really do need to go into work for at least a couple of hours though...

I should possibly be stressing about the fact that in 3 weeks I won't have a job. For some reason I'm not though... and even that's not stressing me.

Que Sera Sera, as Doris would say.

The Newsroom is back and Sorkin is smashing it. Happy Freakin' Monday! 

First BFF14 film for me tonight. Gorgeous. Brilliant work from Billy Connolly and the three young actors. The youngest had me (and the rest of the cinema) in stitches from the get-go. Stunning Scottish scenery, which always makes me nostalgic. If you're an Outnumbered fan, you'll love it.

So much to do today, so little motivation to do it.

Think I'll just watch Scandal.

Well that was a very long, very expensive lunch... (started at 1pm, finished at 8pm). Bloody delish though.

My internet seems to be dropping out every five or so minutes at the moment... except for the hour this Thursday and the hour last Thursday, when I've been on important Skype calls with the UK. I don't know why that is, but I'm not questioning it, Universe!

Thirty years on and Tony Hadley's voice is as soaringly beautiful as ever.

(Spandau Ballet, Hamer Hall)

House - clean.
Laundry - done.
Groceries - bought.

Ready for the week.

All my friends are instagramming pics of themselves all dolled up for Melbourne Cup.

I've been in sweatpants all day with my hair scraped up into a bun, sans makeup.

So not a socialite.

I know when summer hits I'll be really glad that my flat is so cool inside, but right now I wish it wasn't. I go outside and it's lovely, warm, t-shirt weather and then come inside and I need a sweatshirt and socks. RIDICULOUS.

Spent the entire day in my pjs catching up on crap TV. Really needed a lazy Saturday.

Ticked almost all the major things off my to-do list... time to watch this week's Scandal.

Finally feel like things are beginning to fall into place... about time!!

How is it almost the end of October?

HOW???

So much to do, so little time.  To do lists coming out of my ears.

Can we add an extra 8 hours to each day please? Just so I can, you know, sleep.



kthanksbye

Always delightful when directors scream obscenities in your face because there are empty seats in their show...

BECAUSE THEY ADDED EXTRA CHAIRS WITHOUT TELLING YOU AND YOU JUST SOLD TO WHAT YOU'D BEEN TOLD CAPACITY WAS.

Moles.

Took a drive down the Peninsula today and on the way back went past my Great-Aunt Lil's old place... they've done gone and rendered the bejeezus out of it and painted it khaki green.

Sigh.

Normally I'm not a fan of a two-show day, but when you're a patron and not working, it's so much more enjoyable. Yay for Melbourne Festival freebies!

After a crazy shift at work, I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. Thank god my house guests weren't up for a big night either.

I swear I am the youngest person* at the Stitches & Craft Fair by about 40 years.

Nanas on the hunt for a crafty bargain are terrifying.



* Youngest person without a child... there's a bunch of mummy blogger/crafter types here too, with their scary prams that could cause you to lose a limb if you get in the way.

So, my neighbours are noisier when they're fighting than they are when they're having sex.

And they're pretty damn loud when they're having sex.

Post-viewing of Les Mis in Melbourne, I feel another 'Ten Things I Loved/Ten Things I Hated' blog is in order... stay tuned.

So, apparently I'm in a minority... I really like Madam Secretary.

I mean, HELLO... Téa Leoni as strong, intelligent, resourceful woman in a position of power? Timothy Daly as the eye candy? What's not to like?

Is 11pm too late to finish re-upholstering a chair? It's only about 10 nails worth of hammering before it's done...

Such a long to-do list, so little time.

Or maybe too much time, hence the procrastination. I do work more efficiently when there's a huge deadline looming.

So impressed by the work of our VCA third year theatre students at Performance Day today. They're such a talented bunch!

Having a Sydney mate staying over is always nice. The fact that she has to stay with me because she got kicked out of the hotel room she's been in all week due to the arrival of 80,000 Jehovah's Witnesses arriving in Melbs for a 3 day convention, is HILARIOUS. 

How is it 8.15pm already and I feel like I've only just started getting stuff done today?

HOW?

Oh and I'm hungry.

Just when I think my to-do list can't get any longer...

it doubles.

Throwing it into the hands of fate... let's see what happens. Stay tuned.

Ingredients for today's awesome Sunday =

1. This movie, viewed with the SFAM*

+

2. Purchase of this book

3. And this diary

+

4. Varnishing of new chair for balcony

+

5. Sunshine









* SAFM = Sister From Another Mister. Possibly the only person I could see that movie with because she's the only one who 'gets' the Mona-Lisa Saperstein references. 

Today marks three years since I began this blog.

Every day.

For THREE years.

One Thousand and Ninety Eight posts.

And people say I can't stick to one thing for any great length of time.*








* And by 'people' I also mean myself

This.

That is all.

Happy Weekend!

New goodies from GU and a fab film screening of the third year's work make for an excellent day. 

Again with the dumb idea to take a nap when I get home from work because I was THAT tired.

Now I'm wired and will doubtless be unable to sleep until the wee hours.

Grrrrr. Self-administered smack upside the head for me.

Tonight at the Regent Theatre, this woman proved she is all class and dignity. She really is.

Gap, your sizing scares me. Because I've lost a bit of weight recently (but I'm not really skinny), you now consider me to be a size 2. TWO!! FFS. Makes me want to eat a Big Mac.

Being school holidays and a weekend, I thought Ikea would be packed... instead it was actually relatively quiet. Of course, that meant I wandered more, which meant I spent more. Sigh. No restraint.

Really need to start getting out of bed earlier... even on the days when I have nothing urgent to do. Maybe then I wouldn't be hit with insomnia at night.

OK, so I didn't get through nearly as many things on my to-do list as I wanted, but I at least made a start... and I think I'll work this weekend... after I go to Ikea and get one of those sun-loungers for my balcony, so I can work outside in the sunshine.

I really need to find some motivation to get through all the things on my to-do list.

If only you could buy motivation on Amazon. Or eBay.

Only I would be dopey enough to not know that when you upgrade from an iPhone 4 to an iPhone 5, you need to get a smaller SIM card.

Now I have to wait 3-5 days before I can set it up!!

Sigh.

At least my new Macbook Air is awesome.

So much fun playing with my new toys (Macbook Air and iPhone 5s)!

Having a houseguest who's still on PNG village time = a super early night all round! After the full-on working weekend I've just had, I need it though.

That's a wrap on FR!SK for Melbourne... so amazed and inspired by the awesome work the VCA theatre students have produced. Now begins the coordination for the Natimuk & Benalla roadtrip!

I had to work today, so couldn't watch the Grand Final.

So of course THIS happened:

GO HAWKS!!! I look forward to watching the replay! 

Downloaded new Scandal the second it was available and watched it immediately.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

How can I be expected to go to work and concentrate now?!

Opening night of our FR!SK festival shows... all 8 of them. 3 of them doing 7 shows per night. Aaarrghhh! But AMAZING.

This week is all about choosing the shows which will make it onto my weekly download list... none of the new shows have impressed me much, but there are one or two which have made it to the next round (ie - I'll give them one more ep to improve). 

It's a very limited list - I don't have a whole heap of time to watch TV, so I'm very selective.

And for the first time in years one of the previous staples is being benched... sorry Big Bang Theory, but you're getting repetitious and dull.

Yep.

This is possibly the greatest thing you'll watch all day.

Huge admirer of Emma Watson - what a fantastic role model.

OK, yes, I've lost 12kgs since this time last year, but I wouldn't say I'm "scarily thin".

This time last year I was pretty chunky.

Now I'm just back to my happy weight.

Cautious optimism won out over cocky arrogance...

I can only hope that strategy pays off for me next week - GO HAWKS!




Translation:
I was hopeful, but not confident that the Hawks would win.
My mate Pete was completely confident that Port would win by at least 30 points.

Oh, Scotland. I can't help but be a little bit disappointed in you for not taking the opportunity to stick it to those douchebags in Westminster who treat you so dismally.

But I respect your decision and I still love you to bits.

Really hope the ATO/my accountant didn't screw up and that really is the amount of my tax return... cos that's AWESOME. 

Very little sleep last night, so I'm off to bed. Now.


Yes, now. 9.09pm.


I'm a lightweight.

I really should be going to bed, but I'm staying at Crown Towers (post-Robbie Williams' concert) and there's the most enormous bathtub with a TV built into the wall at the end of it... so, you know, priorities.

Love this quote from Jennifer Grey...

Steven Moffatt's episodes of Doctor Who should come with a warning not to watch them just before bedtime. I'm now paranoid about what's under my bed...

My sleeping patterns are all out of whack... slept in until midday and now wide awake at midnight.  Hopeless.

Magician tax accountant is a magician... which means I can finally upgrade my technology and give LB my old Macbook and still have some left for the holiday fund. Win!

Somehow, I'd missed out on the news that Season 2 of Masters of Sex had started while I was in PNG. I've got a bit of binge-watching ahead of me to catch up!

Fell asleep on the sofa after dinner and totally missed a Skype date with Bridgi. Boo.

I practically inhaled the first two seasons of Girls, but I'm really struggling with the third... they're all driving me insane with their narcissism. Will I make it to the end...?

Napping on the sofa was such a dumb idea... now I'm wide awake at midnight.

"It's very green here, isn't it? Very... sunny."

"So?"

"Have you been to Nottingham?"

I think I may have a new favourite Doctor. 

Let's hope spending the entire day in bed will kick this flu in the gonads once and for all. 

Fingers crossed for a coughing-fit-free night's sleep tonight.*


Oh and GO HAWKS!



* Four times I woke up coughing-until-I-nearly-puked last night. FOUR. TIMES. So over this flu.

Sometimes there's no better way to spend an evening than to score freebie tix to a Fashion Week runway show and spend the entirely of said show with your GBF mocking models with shocking posture who can't walk. 

Nice to know that my neighbour's sex life hasn't diminished in any way whilst I've been overseas.

THREE times today.  I swear she's running a brothel.

The walls in our block of flats are so thin. Sigh.

It's only flu. It's only flu. It's only flu.

(If I repeat that over and over I might be able to forget the fact that I've just spent two months in a developing country and it might be something a bit more serious...)

(Guess I should go to the doctor if it doesn't improve soon)

The joy of being a freelancer... I can come in for a meeting, then go home when it's done and snooze on the sofa for the afternoon because I still feel like crap.

Going to bed before 9pm... I really must be sick. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Back in Melbs and back to the day-to-day... sigh. 

The journey home from PNG was all going well until fucking Virgin moved me at the last minute from a window seat at the front to a middle seat in the very back row. To add insult to injury, I'm stuck between two huge, fat dudes and have crying kids in the three rows in front. Ugh, ugh. UGH. 

Last night in PNG. Soooooo not ready to leave my Goroka family!  :(

Most amazing farewell party - our house meri, Christina, took me to the chicken market and we bought Petrova and Posy, then Christina and her husband John made mambu (chicken and greens stuffed in bamboo and cooked over a fire). Delicious!! Will be so sad to leave Goroka on Friday. 

Yes, I've named all the chickens I've eaten here. Penelope, Pippa Middleton, Petrova and Posy. They were all delicious. 

They're showing Speed. Again.

We just watched it on Sunday and the girls complained most of the way through at the lack of believability. Don't think I can convince them to watch it again.

Damn.

Tonight's dinner conversation was conducted entirely in German... needless to say, I was very quiet.

(My host is German and our dinner guest is also German and doesn't speak much English)

Final Sunday swim at the Steak House, followed by a secondhand shopping spree with Emma (got an awesome Ted Baker top for 50 toia (A$0.26)!!

I think I'm really going to miss PNG.

Climbed a mountain, went to the Bird for lunch, bought a bucketload of clothes at the secondhand market for PGK20 and roasted Pippa Middleton* for dinner with friends. Pretty much a perfect Saturday in PNG.


* Pippa Middleton is the name I gave to the chicken our house meri killed yesterday. She had a good backside.

One last Friday night football game with the gang followed by dinner and lively conversation at the Pacific. I'm really going to miss this place.  :(

One of those days where the to-do list gets longer yet very few things are ticked off.

Finally I get to sleep on a real bed!! The 1" thick mattress in Tari was terrible...

Going back to Goroka two days earlier than planned. You have no idea how much this excites me... mainly because we'll get hot water and a mattress that's not so thin you can feel the bedslats poking into your hip when you roll over.

"Roughing it" in Tari for the next four days. There's a lot of dust, a lot of bugs and no hot water. 

I may be uttering the phrase "I'm too old for this shit" by Friday...

The Goroka Mudmen tried to get me to buy one of their masks at the Mt Hagen Show today... how the hell I'd get it through customs, let alone fit it in my suitcase didn't seem to be a factor to them.

Also.  The supermarket in Hagen has soft cheese. SOFT CHEESE. Oh how I've missed you...

Life is so social here - friends just pop around for a coffee or to invite you to pop over for dinner... where you get to eat crocodile curry for the first time, ever.

(It really does taste like chicken)

It's official - I am crap at football/soccer. But man did I have fun playing five-a-side after work tonight! #GorokaTales

Happy Birthday to my most precious god-daughter and niece. I still remember the phone call, fifteen years ago, announcing her arrival. It was a great day.

Farewell to one of my cinematic idols. 

Farewell O Captain, my Captain.

Slowly learning what a PNG schedule means...

Basically what you thought will happen may not happen and regardless of what happens it will happen on a much slower schedule than you ever anticipated. 

Spirited, intense script analysis with Angela, Gina and Verena over G&Ts. #GorokaTales 

 Christened turning Verena's study corner into a movie theatre by embarking on season 3 of Girls. Finally starting to like the Adam character.

Babysitting Olawe (4) and Nandame (3) involves two rounds of The Lego Movie, Rio and Gnomeo & Juliet. One is finally asleep, the other is still buzzing like the Energiser bunny with requests for me to sing "Do You Want To Build A Snowman?" over and over and over and over and over...

Watching the sunset over the Eastern Highlands from the deck of the Haven, glass of wine in hand. Life in PNG is good.

Apparently Titanic is the second-most popular movie in PNG and it's been on TV three times since I've been here...

Braved the Goroka shops solo today. Pathetic that this is considered an achievement.

So it would seem that all the female expats frequent the gym at the National Sports Institute (probably because it's the safest place to exercise). Also, my gluts are killing me. 

Fun times with Charlie, Emma & Verena over a Sunday roast.

Thank you Penelope-the-chicken-who-was-bought-at-the-market-on-Friday-sat-in-our-laundry-tub-for-a-couple-of-hours-before-being-killed-and-plucked-by-our-house-meri; you were delicious!

I'm always fascinated by people who work in another country who only socialise with fellow expats (tonight's party being the prime example). Seems a bit pointless to me. How are you supposed to fully immerse yourself in a different culture if you pretty much do exactly what you do back home?

Got free membership to the National Sports Institute gym today... wonder how long it will take me to get fit again?

The last of the conference people left today... now we can get on with some actual work...

Electricity went off at 9pm... Internet has been sporadic since. At least the water's still on and my iPad's fullly charged so I can get onto my kindle app and read for a bit!

#GorokaTales

Had just finished my swim at Steak House's pool this morning, when another earthquake hit, reminding me that the same thing happened last week! Guess it's quite common in these parts... 

We have a new rat. This one is even more bolshi than the last one... he's actively seeking out the sachets of poison and munching through them like they were candies. Little bugger.

The electricity has gone off at least four times today already and it's only 3.40pm. Ah, the rural life...

Volleyball in the village of Bena. 

Well, that's a wrap on the 10th OURMedia conference in Goroka. Now I get to hang in PNG for another five weeks and do fun stuff like visiting local villages and catching up on reading. And sleeping. I could probably spend a whole week sleeping...

Official conference (closing) dinner tonight at the Steak House. Awesome food, awesome band and a chance for us to let our hair down. Brilliant fun.

PNG neighbour's dog bite, day 3. This may take a while to heal... 

Day 2 of the conference. Day 1 went as well as could be expected... we're just putting out fires now.

That moment when the arsehats you've been arguing with all day decide to follow you on twitter. Ugh. 

Worked like a navvy all day to get the conference up and running then got a chunk taken out of my ankle by the neighbour's dog as I was trying to get in the front door. Not my finest day here in PNG... applying the Yazz principle for tomorrow.

First full day in PNG. Spent most of it in the office, but still got a bit of a look around. The supermarket FASCINATES me. So many odd things... like drum kits and 50kg bags of rice.

A couple of huge days ahead with the conference starting on Sunday and loads still to do... it's off to bed for me!

Trying to do everything I need to do tonight has taken three times longer than normal due to PNG's appalling internet. Oh well, it's a good lesson in patience!

Took to the wheel on the crazy, pot-holed, unsurfaced roads of Goroka today. Survived. 

Internet has been in and out all day, it was a gorgeous sunny morning but it's been raining sheets since 3pm... oh and the housekeeper gave me a ticking off for doing the dishes and making my bed because that's HER job... welcome to life in Goroka!

Up at ridiculous o'clock to watch the World Cup final because my host is German. Thank god they won.

There is a rat on the other side of my bedroom wall, chomping its way through a bag of rat poison like it was candy. Disgusting. 

Spent the morning coaching actors for an educational video on midwifery. Specifically, how to examine a placenta. Actual, freshly delivered placentas were used. It. Was. Gross.

But fun.

Goroka is quite amazing. The level of poverty is incredible, but the people are super friendly and welcoming. I am getting used to hearing "White Meri! White Meri!" (white woman) from all the kids in the settlements...

Made it to Goroka with minimal disruptions. Great dinner with the peeps who will become my expat family over the next 7 weeks.

Heading to PNG first thing tomorrow. Internet will be sketchy (to put it mildly) so I will keep a manual list of One Line A Day posts (how old school!) and upload them in bulk when I get a chance.

Another day of sitting around waiting for couriers, only to have them not turn up.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Sitting around waiting for DHL is not how I wanted to spend my day... especially since they didn't turn up, throwing the plans for the next two days into chaos.

Grrrr.

I need to make a choice. I can use the calendar on my phone, or I can use my paper diary, but I've GOT to stop using both. I've double booked myself three times already this week and it's only Monday.

FFS.

(As if I'm not frantic enough with getting ready to go to PNG for 7 weeks on Friday...)

Fangirling over Tom Skerritt at Comic Con is totally fine, right? Even if you're 43 and he's 80?

Because, DRUM!! VIPER!! SHERIFF BROCK!!!!! I mean, C'MON...

A cacophony of saxophones and percussion played by people in giant masks made from styrofoam, toilet roll cores and paper plates. Four hours of my life I'll never get back... just as well I was getting paid for it. 

Today I farewelled the first friend I made when I moved to Melbourne five years ago. Happy trails, Bridgi - may Edinburgh be awesome for you! 

(Also, three of the students in our film and tv class didn't know who Aaron Sorkin is. To say I was horrified would be an understatement.)

Received my passport back from PNG High Commission - they process their visas the old-fashioned stick-in way. Haven't had one of those since the Schengen visa, circa 1996. Awesome.

Think I incurred a speeding fine on a work trip to Benalla today. As if I'm not forking out enough cash over the next few weeks...

#HaemorrhagingMoney
#RentIncrease
#ContentsInsuranceDue
#OweTaxOfficeABundle
#OngoingMedicalBills
#FML

SIGH.

There's an AFL charity match being shown on TV tonight. An awesome player by the name of Abbey Holmes is carving up the opposition and booting goals. What a great role model for young girls who want to play AFL.

It's just such a shame that the sexist commentators at Channel 9 are so flipping condescending about her. You'd think they'd never seen a woman playing footy before. Oh. Right. Silly me. They probably haven't, because the only women in their sphere are WAGS.

Going through my old Film & TV notes from drama school in preparation for my PNG trip. Think this actually applies to more than just my acting work...

Aside from caffeine, I've broken every food rule in the book this weekend*... and now I don't feel at all well. 

Must make note for the next time I try and justify eating poorly with the "ahhh, go on, a little bit won't hurt" excuse.

* Dairy, sugar, wheat and alcohol. In vast amounts. 

Farewelling Bridgi & Andy who are moving to Edinburgh... sad face.

Having a colleague's dog with us in the office all day has made me want one of my own even more... too bad: (a) my lease doesn't allow it; and (b) I'm about to head up to PNG for 7 weeks so no point even contemplating it until later in the year.

Stumbled upon this classic in my YouTube favourites folder.

Still brings tears of laughter to my eyes.

Nerd status confirmed... I'm going to Oz Comic Con.

I mean, Shirley from Community, Arthur Darvil, the hot Hobbit, Tom Skerritt AND Macgyver? C'MON!!! Why the hell wouldn't I?!

First of cousin Kathleen's antique chairs reupholstered. Not a bad job if I do say so... and for the bargain price of $20 including fabric, upholstery tacks, glue and cord.

DIY Queen.

Didn't get through even half the things on my to-do list. Bugger.

Writing my to-do list for tomorrow has pretty much guaranteed me a sleepless night spent wondering how the hell I'm going to fit it all in...

Didn't really need a new dress or sweater, but I did need new boots. Thanks, Round She Goes Vintage Market!

Forget Sandy and Danny. No, when I was 7 and saw Grease for the first time, I thought Rizzo and Kenickie were the ultimate couple. Christ on a cracker. No wonder my love life has been a constant disaster if they were my early role models.

(We went to Singalong Grease for my birthday treat tonight and it got me thinking)

A four-hour drive back from Natimuk followed by a FOH shift. A long day. Bedtime.

Awesome trip to Natimuk with two of the third year theatre students today - oh the possibilities for our tour at the end of the year!  #Excited

What on earth possessed me to keep the all boxes that my headphones have come in over the last four years, I'll never know.

I just threw out five of them in one of my create-more-space frenzies. Which leads me to conclude that either Apple make crappy headphones, or I am particularly rough with them.

Probably both.

I'm glad I have at least two friends who are willing participants in Friday's birthday plan.*



* Said plan *may* involve Grease singalong at The Astor. Not everyone's cup of tea, but it's MY birthday and if I want to sing along with Rizzo, then I'll damn well do so.

Laziest weekend I've had in ages. Brilliant.

Day successfully wasted. By reading and stuff. I love rainy Saturdays.

After two extremely long days I am looking forward to a Saturday sleep in.

How rock'n'roll is my life... not.

Counting down to Sunday... the day where I plan to do nought but wear my pjs all day, drink tea, finish my book and watch Fargo. Until then, it's go go go.

An overdue catch up with the SFAM, who's talked me into going to Comic Con with her. #Nerds

* Sister From Another Mister

Given the outpouring of love across social media, I'd say everyone's hands were up for Rik Mayall today. 56 is far too young. 

RIP you bonkers poet of the people. 

I only wish they'd kept him in the Harry Potter movies as Peeves the Poltergeist. He's who I always pictured in the role throughout every one of the books.

Yay for long weekends!
Yay for long weekends that coincide with the Tony Awards!

Boo for not having Foxtel to watch said awards, however...

(thank god for Twitter)

Just realised I've not switched on the TV all weekend. Instead, I've been listening to music and working my way through the piles of books sitting on my coffee table. Reading is awesome.

Worked FOH tonight where the one of the bar staff claimed to have never heard of Beck.

I was gobsmacked, naturally.

Yesterday's acupuncture on my torn piriformis muscle is finally starting to take effect... not such a limping lucy today.

Reading through the mentor transcripts for the volunteer work I do each week is fascinating.

Keeping a diet diary for my acupuncturist just illuminates how dull my eating habits have become now I've cut out wheat, sugar, dairy, caffeine and alcohol. I mean really, what's left?!

Nothing is more annoying than hanging around the house all day waiting on a delivery, only to look at the order confirmation at 4pm and realise it's not due to be delivered until TOMORROW.

Ugh.

And sigh.

A 'supposed-to-be-quiet-dinner-with-an-out-of-town-guest' turned into a 'I'll-tag-along-to-your-client-dinner-as-your-faux-date' and was actually a lot of fun. Who'd've thunk it?!

Just made meself a pair of Avengers flanny jams.

This is probably why I'm still single.

Scored big in the 'my-friend-is-moving-overseas-and-is-getting-rid-of-everything' stakes today. Dressmaker's mannequin, vintage clothing patterns, awesome fabric, boots, a heater - it's like Christmas!!

Impossible to do ANYTHING that requires even the remotest amount of concentration (today's example: knitting), whilst watching The Trip To Italy.

Too damn funny.

The giggles and squeals of the toddlers upstairs at bath time is hilariously entertaining.

Vale, Maya Angelou. Thanks for being such an inspiration.

Music theatre students are a rare breed... and not necessarily rare in a good way. 

They could certainly use some lessons in offstage etiquette from the theatre and dance students, s'all I'm saying. 

Well that was an awesome evening with Irvine Welsh at the Wheeler Centre. Now if only I could remember all of the pearls of wisdom he imparted...*



* Was sitting in the second row, bang in his eyeline. Taking notes would've been very impolite.

Trying to sew AND watch The Trip To Italy at the same time, was not the best idea... I was laughing so hard I stitched the wrong pieces together and had to spend a whole episode unpicking them.

A three-man escort to the train station (where they waited with me for another 15 mins for the train to arrive), even though it was only 250m away, because we were in a 'rapey' area.

I have some really awesome friends.

However it's a pretty sad indictment on my lovely city that this sort of thing has become the rule, rather than the exception.

Friday afternoons when you can ditch work early for coffee catch ups with your favourite people are the best.

I had today all planned out.

Most things have finally (at 10.30pm) been ticked off my list, however I'm still in my pyjamas.

I'm not sure if that's a win or a fail.

Saw the other half of the third year's in their performance piece this afternoon. Bloody awesome. And messy. Very, very messy. Like, molasses messy.

Got to sit in on the third year's show again this afternoon. Enjoyed it just as much as the first time!

Dead arm from having jabs... still, at least now I'm protected should typhoid, measles, mumps or rubella ever take a stab at my immune system!


[The joys of travelling to Pacific countries where such diseases are still prevalent]

Nothing like an overdue notice from the library to get you speed reading a book...

3 1/2 hours spent catching up via Skype with mates in Antwerp and Edinburgh is a very pleasant way to spend a Saturday evening. 

Opening night of our third years' shows... they are a talented bunch.

The fact I know far more US political history than I do Australian history is further proof that I was born in the wrong country.*


(We came 4th in trivia tonight... not a bad effort for our first time as a team!)

Neeeeeeed...

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp.




(Actually, I need to start going to bed earlier, so that when the alarm goes off at 6am I feel rested instead of zombie-like.)

Trying to find out how long an international transfer (that was processed last month) will take to appear in my bank account.

My bank's response? "We don't really do international transfers".

NOT. HELPFUL. ME BANK.

Skype is great, but it's no substitute for sitting with a friend and chatting over a glass of wine. Get me to NYC soon so I can do just that, universe!

Today, I've painted ceramic watering cans and plaster of paris dinosaurs, swung on the monkey bars and run amok in Spotlight.

(I had a friend's kids with me... it's ok)

Also - it's Eurovision day! I'm loving Iceland, but they won't win.

Thanks to five days of doing FOH for our third year's dance piece, I now have "Lose Yourself To Dance" by Daft Punk & Pharrell firmly embedded in my brain...

Apologies to those who follow me on Twitter for bombarding their feed with Eurovision commentary tonight.

You know you're getting on a bit when the show you're FOH-ing for includes an excerpt from Cheers and half the audience have never seen or heard of it...

HOW is it 7pm already? I have a billion things I still need to do today!!

Opening night for our third-year dance students. Can't wait to see the piece in its entirety - what I've seen so far is amazing!

It took forever to be released in Australia, but boy was it worth the wait. Only Lovers Left Alive is one of the most exquisite pieces of film making I've seen in a good long while.

Sunday Ladies Lunch - hot soup and awesome conversation is good for the soul. 

Some days it's just nice to potter around the house.

Damn. No green card this time around. Boo.

Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts.
Thinking positive thoughts...

Have not set foot outside the house all day. What is wrong with me?!

Busy, busy, busy.

Must rectify tomorrow. 

Nothing to see here. Nothing at all. 

(ie - just another day of work)

Stopped watching Q&A months ago because I kept getting annoyed with the right-wing cockwombles. Tonight however, Van Badham was a panelist and did a great job holding Malcolm Turnbull accountable.

I can get lost in TED talks for hours.

HOURS.

Here are just two of the many I watched today:

Help! I knitted a tea cosy. It's official... I've become my granny.*

* When I say "I've become my granny", it's because Granny could actually knit. My mother is absolutely useless at knitting and sewing, so none of my so-called-skill comes from her.

Lest I Forget:

• Grandpa Bob 
• Great-Uncle Clarrie
• Great-Uncle Jack 
• Great-Uncle Tom

Thank you for volunteering your services to our country during WWI and WWII; and in Jack's case, paying the ultimate price.

~ Anzac Day 2014

Thanks to the Lincraft Collins St store closing down sale, the antique chairs I inherited from cousin Kathleen are going to get a makeover. Gorgeous embossed fabric reduced from $40 per m to $5 per m. Brilliant.

A very funny evening with the extremely entertaining Jennifer Saunders - one of my all-time faves since the Comic Strip days. We are so lucky in Melbourne to have The Wheeler Centre, who not only organise these fab events, but make them affordable for all. $35 is a barry bargain.

Another radical diet overhaul... this time for the energy levels. Let's see if it works.

Falling into some bad sleeping habits this long weekend... need to get back on track!

Delicious roast lunch with friends, an Easter egg hunt with their kids, lots of cuddles from the puppies and an evening spent reading and knitting. Not a bad way to spend Easter Sunday.

Why is it always at night that I'm hit with inspiration to sew something?  At least tonight's genius idea was fairly simple in its execution... turning ugly, but useful furniture into something more aesthetically pleasing!

OMG, OMG, OMG.

That Scandal finale was BONKERS.

BONKERS.

I have an A4 page filled with a list of things I want to achieve this long weekend.  

Taking bets on how many I get around to actually achieving... if I make it through a quarter I'll be shocked.

Technically, I have the next six days of not having to "go" to work.

In reality, I will be working at least some of them, since I'm also a freelancer.

I just need to work out a way that I can take at least a couple of days off and not do any work WITHOUT feeling guilty about it...

I need a personal-masseuse-on-demand for when my shoulder starts acting up at 11pm at night.

Or, I need my dodgy shoulder to remind me it's in pain during business hours, when I can actually pop into the local massage place.

The opening three or so minutes of Peter's Friends is truly some of my favourite film footage ever. 

"Oh yes, it could've been worse - they could've attached electrodes to our genitals!!"

Woke up at 3am to watch 6 hours of what one tweeter described as "Comic Con for political nerds".

I was in heaven and have even MORE of a crush on Beau Willimon now.  So. Freaking. Eloquent.

My only gripe was that there weren't enough women on the panel...

You know what's great about 'working' on a Saturday night?

Said 'work' is reading a children's book in preparation for writing a proposal to turn it into an animation.

KidLit is such an awesome genre.

Jennifer Garner on The Daily Show.  How can you NOT like her?  She's hilarious.

Such an awesome day helping out on The Future Postal Service.

There are some absolutely delightful under-12s in this city. And while most parents were great, some I really wanted to shake.

Please, parents. Let your kids be kids and ENCOURAGE them to create. Being five minutes late because your child is finishing their artwork really doesn't matter in the great scheme of things, but being supportive of their talent will make a huge difference throughout their lives.

The benefits of freelancing:

I can balance out editing copy for a financial website with co-writing a proposal for a children's animation series whilst researching fun stuff to go into conference gift bags whilst organising a regional tour for a group of theatre makers.

It all equates to no-such-thing-as-a-9-to-5-desk-job and you know what?

That suits me just fine.

Tuesday night dinners with old friends talking about nothing in particular are always awesome.

Also.

RIP Peaches Geldof. That poor family. All the money in the world can't protect you from heartbreak.

Almost everything ticked off my to-do list today...

EXCEPT the main one which really needed to be done.

Sigh.

Procrastination is my middle name.

Spent most of the afternoon reading Elizabeth Gilbert's 'The Signature of All Things', which is due back at the library tomorrow (no extensions possible).  Only 100-odd pages in (of 499) and really don't want to rush-read as I'm enjoying it so much, so I think a little excursion to Readings will be in order, so I can have my own copy, to savour at my leisure.

One book finished, two to go... it's a marathon reading kind of weekend.

Three whole days off:

Sleep

Read

Clean

Sleep

That's the plan. 

So, Captain America, The Winter Soldier filled in a bunch of [Marvel Universe] gaps for me, but left me with a bunch more questions... aaarrrggghhh!!

Lunchtime ping-pong at the NGV with a work colleague.

Highly recommended as a de-stressing technique, as well as a focussing technique for the remainder of the day.

And just a whole lot of FUN!

Fascinating talk at The Wheeler Centre tonight.

I love my city.

Inadvertently booked myself for events every night this week. I'm already knackered and it's only Monday! 

I have been a very dutiful daughter this weekend... shopping, Shrine of Remembrance, the Flower & Garden Show and more shopping.

Wake me up in June.

Subjected LB to Earth Hour... no lights, no phones, no TV - just candlelight and cards.

She wasn't very impressed.

I'm currently doing five different jobs and I'm about to start doing some volunteer work as well.

Can. I. Pack. Anything. More. Into. My. Schedule?

I think not.

(This is probably why I'm single)

Hanging out with a friend's six year old this afternoon, building Lego:

Mr Six: "Argh! The wings keep breaking off my super-fighter-debris-crushing-spaceship!"

Me: "Sounds like you've got some major structural issues. Might have to go back to basics."

Mr Six: "Hmmm. I think you're right. I have no idea what the words you said mean, but I think you're right."

Classic. 

The most awesome mates are those who not only tolerate your pop culture nerdiness, but can actively engage in discussions without thinking you're a freak.

Yay for new toys which will make it easier to work-from-the-park (as opposed to work-from-home).

ABC2 now shows The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (with only a couple of days delay). If only they'd add The Daily Show and Late Night with Seth Meyers into their lineup, I'd actually watch regular TV.

My gorgeous Great-Aunt Susannah celebrated her 100th birthday today.*  I met four awesome cousins I've never met before and got to spend a couple of hours (driving to the country and back) with another who I've barely had any contact with throughout my life.

My extended family may be a little kooky, but I kinda like them.





* Her actual birthday is tomorrow, but school and work commitments aren't easily negotiable - even for a centenarian - so the party was this afternoon.

I think I need to go and stay with people who head to bed early more often... tucked up by 10pm is quite the novelty!

Nothing like an all-out argument with the crazy upstairs neighbour over plants in the garden to get the blood pumping.  Stupid old bat. If the landscapers have been instructed to remove all the plants, then that hideously ugly weed growing next to my balcony (which you claim has "bleeding bowel healing properties)" is going.

Three weeks working in the highlands of PNG in July is a GO!  Hurrah!

My plans for an early night were shot to hell.

In other news, I got a lovely new pink peacoat today on eBay for the bargain price of $9 and Florence Henderson and Megan Mullally locked lips on Trophy Wife. Brilliant.

99.9% sure none of the French feast the GBF and I just gobbed down is on my "allowed" foods list.

Oh well. As the kids say, YOLO. 

Slooooow start to the day. At least it ended up being fairly productive... doing things for other people instead of my own stuff. Ugh.

Small giggle to myself as I was working the John Farnham/Lionel Richie concert... 

While I was waiting to escort the meet & greeters backstage at interval, I noticed that Farnsey uses an autocue and has a dedicated autocue operator at the side of the stage who manually scrolls up the lyrics to all his songs. 

Old age must be catching up with him. 

Bless. 

He can still belt out one hell of a note though.  Kudos, Farnesey. You ARE the voice.

It's probably not the best idea to start watching a movie at 11.45pm on a Saturday night when you have to work the next day...

but I REALLY, REALLY need to watch Frozen!

Watched Scandal. MENTAL.  So mental, I had to then watch Parks and Rec to calm myself down.

Then I went to KJG's birthday dinner at LuWow, where they stuffed up our food order and felt so bad they gave all fourteen of us our meals, plus drinks, plus two 'complimentary'-but-normally-$65 (shared) cocktails for the grand total of $50.  Divide that by fourteen and add a generous tip and that's a damn fine and cheap night out!

Highly recommend going to a taping of Spicks and Specks as a fun (and free!) way to spend a Thursday evening.

And if you can get to see one of your 80s musical heroes in the bargain, all the better...

)

Far too early to be going to bed, but I've had the gapes since about 6pm. Hope I'm not getting sick. There's no time for getting sick. 

Traded hair-techniques with a six year old at the deli counter at Thomas Dux this afternoon. She wanted to know how I did my fishtail braid. I wanted to know how she got her bangs to drape so perfectly off to one side.

Apparently it was a public holiday in Melbourne today. I spent most of it working, which would have been annoying, but for the fact I need the money.

The Skype date with the NYC bestie was a welcome distraction too.

Three-hour Sunday skypes with the Belgian-based bestie are BRILLIANT.

Getting the hang of this sewing malarkey...

All-day pitch session for the students' festival ideas today. Man, but they are a talented bunch. Can't wait to see the fruits of their labour!

The day has run away from me. For someone who's technically unemployed at the moment, I sure am working on a lot of projects.

This time last year (ish) I was coordinating the meet & greet for Mötley Crüe.

Tonight I coordinated the meet & greet for Paul Anka.

Today, this happened.

Brilliant, inspiring, funny, insightful and delightful.

A predictable Oscars. Nice frocks all around. Yaawwwwwwnnnn...

But then came Travolta.

Bahahahahaha.

Adele Dazeem??

That's not even an anagram of Idina Menzel.  WTAF?!?

Comedy gold, Travolta. Second only to the comedy gold that is your hairpiece.

Turns out I can sew.  Not bad for a first effort. 

I'll just say; Hiddleston + Shakespeare = a winning combination.

Get thee along to a screening of NT Live's Coriolanus.

Thank me later.

In my defence, I'm going to bed at a ridiculously early hour on a Friday because not only was I up super early, but I walked the entire 7km home.  I barely had enough energy to watch the longed-for returns of Parks & Rec and Scandal.*


* But I'm so glad I did because they were AWESOME!!!

Trying really hard to make this my current mantra:

Really, REALLY hard.

Seriously. What the fuck did I do in a past life to deserve this?

Now payment for the work I did last week hasn't been put through and likely won't for another fortnight.

FFS.

12pm: Return from a meeting to current job to discover contract for exciting new job (starting next week when current contract finishes) has been left on my desk for me to sign. Hurrah!

1pm: Am told that new job contract is being rescinded, due to current incumbent suddenly deciding not taking the planned leave of absence.

This, I feel, is the only appropriate reaction:

In essence, come Friday, I am unemployed. 

Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck indeed.

Bollocks.

Photo of the day...

Baby and Coulson.*

* Y'all know that Jennifer Grey and Clark Gregg are married in real life, right? No? Well now you do. You're welcome. 

Camberwell Market. Who knew there were such treasures hidden amongst all the junk? 

Off for a catch up dinner with a Sydney mate and a wander around White Night... Melbourne really is a great city to live in.

Amazing things you learn from The Daily Show:

Ronan Farrow was accepted into college at age 11, graduated at 15, did a stint in the UN, then graduated Yale Law at 18, was a Rhodes scholar at Oxford and the youngest ever person to work for the State department.

Super-smart high achiever or what?  

(Plus, he's funny, engaging and cute as a button.  He's like the dream package, ladies-in-his-age-bracket.)

Well that was a nice little work perk... drinks and nibbles at Crown overlooking the river.

I really do wonder how some people exist in society, if the conversations overheard at the Eminem box office today are anything to go by.

What's really disturbing is that these are the people who breed...

1. Thank god there will be a third season

2. What is it with Presidents and knuckle rapping on desks?

3. Took a leap. Let's see if I land on my feet or my arse. Either is possible at this stage.

Eleven eps down, two to go and shit's starting to get kinky on House of Cards. Loving. Every. Second.

Still in a House of Cards hole... and loving it. 

Netflix are my Valentine.

House of Cards is my love.

Welcome back, Underwoods, et al.

This weekend is all about lists.

Pros and Cons.

It's decision time, people.





I just made that sound way more exciting than it actually is.

Things I love about Melbourne:

Vintage haberdashery shops tucked away on the second floor of a building you'd normally wander straight past without even blinking, but for a friend taking you into the same building to check out a gallery.

Oh.

My.

Word.

James Joyce, you (filthy, dirty) SCAMP.

Today was a good day.
An unexceptional day, but a good day nonetheless.

I've watched this a load of times now and I'm STILL giggling.

I think Tim Robbins and Benedict Cumberbatch are my favourites. Probably because I'd be correcting the spelling of the illiterate c***suckers who'd insulted me as well.

OK so that's ONE missing friend accounted for.

Also:

If the choice is between INXS and Schapelle, I think I'll choose...

MY BOOK.

Australian TV networks really do churn out some absolute rubbish.

I think what it boils down to, is that I just don't care for the way Woody Allen writes his female characters.

Also, Duran Duran's 'Wild Boys' video is still one of the best video clips of the 80s.



(Yes, I'm feeling a little scattered)